It raises the question on how many of us parents nd youth of today
are willing to do this in this current, modern, civilized century ??
While many will feel this to be old fashioned, degrading, insulting,
insecure, unworthy and irrational, we must remember a couple of things
our beloved prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) said:
“Blessed is a woman whose engagement and dowry are easy”. Reported by Ahmad nd Al-Nisa i
“Once a woman came to the Prophet (pbuh) nd said, “I dedicate myself to you (for marriage).” She stayed for a long period of time, then a man said, “O Messenger of Allah! If you do not want her, marry me to her”. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “What do you have to give as a dowry’?” I have nothing but Izar (waist sheet). The man replied. The Prophet (pbuh) said, “If you give her your Izar, you will have no Izar to wear, so find something (else).” He said, “I have nothing.” The Prophet (pbuh) said, “(Try to) find (something) even if (it is) a ring of iron.” But the man went back with nothing. The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Do you memorize something of the Qur’an’? The man said, “Yes, I memorize such and such and named some surahs. Then The Prophet (pbuh) said, “I gave you to each other in marriage for what you memorize of the Qur’an.”
Al-Bukhari and Muslim
And Anas (RAA) reported that when Abu Talhah (RAA) betrothed Umm Salim, she said:
“By Allah, no one can reject the like of you, but you are an atheist and I am a Muslim woman. I am not allowed to marry you. My dowry is to embrace Islam, nothing else. When he entered Islam, she married him and that was her dowry.”
The following story was related by Hiba Ammar:“Once a woman came to the Prophet (pbuh) nd said, “I dedicate myself to you (for marriage).” She stayed for a long period of time, then a man said, “O Messenger of Allah! If you do not want her, marry me to her”. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “What do you have to give as a dowry’?” I have nothing but Izar (waist sheet). The man replied. The Prophet (pbuh) said, “If you give her your Izar, you will have no Izar to wear, so find something (else).” He said, “I have nothing.” The Prophet (pbuh) said, “(Try to) find (something) even if (it is) a ring of iron.” But the man went back with nothing. The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Do you memorize something of the Qur’an’? The man said, “Yes, I memorize such and such and named some surahs. Then The Prophet (pbuh) said, “I gave you to each other in marriage for what you memorize of the Qur’an.”
Al-Bukhari and Muslim
And Anas (RAA) reported that when Abu Talhah (RAA) betrothed Umm Salim, she said:
“By Allah, no one can reject the like of you, but you are an atheist and I am a Muslim woman. I am not allowed to marry you. My dowry is to embrace Islam, nothing else. When he entered Islam, she married him and that was her dowry.”
“When my father proposed to my mother, he dedicated Surah
Al-Imran, which he memorized off heart, as her “Mahr” (dowry). And when
my husband proposed to me, my father told him that he would have to
memorize a Surah of the Quran as my mahr. The wedding will not go on
unless I’ve received my mahr I was asked to pick one of the surahs. I
chose Surah Al-Noor. For all the laws that Surah contained within it and
for the fact that it seemed hard to memorize on my behalf.
And before our wedding day; aside of being busy preparing for
our “Newly wedded Nest”, the Quran wouldn’t leave my husband’s hand an
entire month as he was memorizing the Surah.
A few days before our wedding day, my husband came to recite to my father the Surah which he had completed. My father told him every time u make a mistake, you would have to start from the beginning all over again.
My husband began reciting Surah Al-Noor with his calm/gentle voice in such a “beautiful” scene which I will never forget. My mother and I would look at one another and would smile awaiting my husband to make a mistake so he would have to start all over again and by that increase my “Reward”.
But my husband – May Allah bless him – had memorized the Surah off by heart and didn’t even forget one single verse of it. Once he finished my father hugged him and said to him: “Today I shall marry my daughter to you, for you have fulfilled her mahr and your pledge to me..”
He didn’t pay me a financial mahr, and we didn’t buy gold worth tens of thousands. He sufficed me with Allah’s words as an oath/ contract between us. And the Question is…. I wonder what Surah my daughter will chose as her mahr in the future?”
A few days before our wedding day, my husband came to recite to my father the Surah which he had completed. My father told him every time u make a mistake, you would have to start from the beginning all over again.
My husband began reciting Surah Al-Noor with his calm/gentle voice in such a “beautiful” scene which I will never forget. My mother and I would look at one another and would smile awaiting my husband to make a mistake so he would have to start all over again and by that increase my “Reward”.
But my husband – May Allah bless him – had memorized the Surah off by heart and didn’t even forget one single verse of it. Once he finished my father hugged him and said to him: “Today I shall marry my daughter to you, for you have fulfilled her mahr and your pledge to me..”
He didn’t pay me a financial mahr, and we didn’t buy gold worth tens of thousands. He sufficed me with Allah’s words as an oath/ contract between us. And the Question is…. I wonder what Surah my daughter will chose as her mahr in the future?”
Some may dispute on whether giving a portion of Quran memorization
as a dowry is permissible in Islam, some may reprehend it even if it
were, it is not for us to get into the fiqh issues of this, or comment
weather it is right or wrong. We just wanted to emphasis the point nd
moral of avoiding extravagant amounts of money, wealth or gold as dowry,
to question our motives and intentions of our marriage nd correct them
for extra rewards nd blessings for the sake of our Lord, nd to
promote awareness of other possible nd acceptable alternative forms of
dowry, nd Allaah Swt knows best...
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