No, my parents don’t have enough time for me, they are too busy with business.
No, my father doesn’t know I am failing my exams because he doesn’t really give a damn, he is too busy with his work.
No, my mother couldn’t make food for me because she was out with her friends shopping all day.
No, it’s better to just commit suicide because they will not understand, they will kill me if they find out.
No, I don’t want to go home because my parents are always fighting every single minute.
No….
Enough. Please, enough.
_____
How many of us heard such lines from our friends or from complete strangers? Many, I must say.
We
are so frustrated when we come to hear about a daughter or son going
astray, got into wrong friends, wrong community, or better yet they just
change, from good boys and girls to the “naughty and bad” kids out
there.
And this happens, even in a family that has parents that
are actually close to Allah Azza Wa Jall, or those that we see praying
and all, this is reality. And it is really the hardest to give dawah to
your own family.
We cannot blame society here, because the very
foundation of the kids are from the parents, no matter how a child would
refrain or do things unliked, the parents can always help them.
But
do we have parents now that actually try to talk to the kids about
their struggles? Why such things happened, why they were able to do
such?
If you are a parent who spends time with your kids then
Alhamdulillah, may Allah Azza Wa Jall make you continue this, but this
is dedicated to those who think they are but actually do not.
A
hello or a salaam is not actually spending time with your kids, it’s an
opening only, but some parents, never try to follow that up and just
leave.
I have written lots of blog entries about how we
should value our parents, and I do get feedbacks of such lines that I
wrote on the beginning of this blog, so here is a story about Abu Bakr
As Sideeq Radiyallahu Anhu with his son, ‘Abdullah Ibn Abu Bakr
Radiyallahu Anhu.
_____
During the early days of the
Hijrah[migration], when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam and Abu
Bakr As Sideeq Radiyallahu Anhu were kept in the cave, when they are
shut off from the happenings outside the cave, Allah Azza Wa Jall gave
them an eye to acquire the happenings outside the cave, and this was
through Abu Bakr’s RA son, ‘Abdullah.
'Abdullah RA was raised by
his father to have a deep love for his religion, yes, Abu Bakr was a man
who kept close companionship with the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wassalaam but this didn't shun him from spending enough time to teach,
inspire, motivate and put that immense love for the deen in the hearts
of his offsprings.
So on this task, his father outlined the role
that ‘Abdullah had to do to ensure the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wassalaam to arrive safely at his destination. He was their intelligence
officer.
With the intelligence and sincerity of ‘Abdullah, he
kept a close eye on the movements of the enemy. During the day, he would
have to attend the gatherings of the Quraish in Makkah to hear what the
leaders of the Quraish had to say about their pursuit of his father and
the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam, and then at night, he would
have to carefully make his way to the cave, making sure that no one was
following him. Then before sunset, he had to silently make his way back
to Makkah, acting as if he had spend the night in his home.
Now,
one must realize that this task was very dangerous and hard for
‘Abdullah, as being the son of Abu Bakr RA, it was very likely that his
movements were being closely watched but ‘Abdullah was able to perform
this task with great skills that no one ever caught him or were even
remotely suspicious of his movements.
_____
Why did I chose to share this particular story about Abu Bakr and ‘Abdullah RA? Because
I wanted to pin point the beautiful bond of this father and son and the
beautiful foundation that Abu Bakr RA was able to put in the heart of
his son by just constantly spending time with his son.
We
have to set a goal for our kids in ourselves, but know that whatever
goal you want to put or to set for your kids, you can never achieve it
by forcing it to them. You can never implement such things on force, if it will, the end will not be stable and later on stumble and fall.
Look
at the way Abu Bakr RA made his son, even though ‘Abdullah RA was a son
of his from his first wife Qateelah Bint ‘Abdul ‘Uzzah Ibn As’ad Ibn
Jabir Ibn Malik, who was a polytheist, fall in love with Islam, and this
was out of the time spent by Abu Bakr RA with his son.
Just look at how your ample time can do such beautiful things to your children, it doesn’t have to be whole day, even just an hour to just speak about how their day was, wallah this means a lot for us [as it will mean a lot for you], and the thing is, you
don’t have to actually work to earn a time to talk to us, you just
actually have to say Salaam and we will take a seat and talk.
Please, try.
_____
And
we pray that Allah Azza Wa Jall make the love of families with each
other grow more and more as days pass by and that may He put that light
of guidance upon every Muslim to be able to actually remember Him and
His Words and the values of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam left
for them to practice...Aameen.. <3
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